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Dear Amy My Husband Likes To Wear My Panties


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#1 Pantyholic

 
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Posted 24 March 2006 - 10:58 PM

Question: My husband of five months is a wonderful man, but he does something kind of different I wanted your advice on: He sometimes likes to wear my panties. He swears he's not gay; he just says they feel really good on his skin, and wearing them makes him feel closer to me. It's okay with me; I just find it a little odd, and hope he's never in an accident and has to explain why he's wearing panties. Is this just a phase? Am I crazy for being okay with it?

Wondering Wife

And the answer: has been deleted by Lansing probably thorough embarrassment Posted Image but dug it out of the way back machine


Quote

Dear Wondering Wife
There’s a U.S. senator who can’t speak publicly unless he’s wearing pantyhose. He was a patient of Dr. William Stayton, a psychologist and leading expert on cross-dressing. “Underneath his blue suit and tie he wore pantyhose and a bra and women’s underwear,” Stayton told me in a recent interview. “He was always worried somebody would lift his pant leg and see his pantyhose. But it was the only way he could calmly speak before the Senate.”
So, one man’s Prozac is another man’s pantyhose. So what? My boyfriend compared the senator’s cross-dressing to his own penchant for hats. “When I wear my Henschel High Roller I have a totally different outlook. You swagger a bit, you just know you’re cool. I take the hat off, and I’m just another guy.”
Nobody worries about a guy in a hat unless they’re in a bank and the hat happens to be a ski mask. And how about all those female executives who “dress for success” in male business drag? Maybe because we identify femininity with weakness but value masculine strength and power, nobody looks squinty-eyed at a woman in pinstripes -- or gives a second thought to women like me, who’ve been donning Calvin Klein boxer briefs for years.
No, I haven’t been wearing them on the senatorial sly, under my clothes. They‘re the workout shorts I march around in at the gym. And don’t forget that sexy staple of chick flicks, the “morning after” shot of the woman drinking coffee while wearing the man’s big white shirt as a nightie. Of course, aside from specialty e-tailers like manties.com, nobody would dream of selling men lace-trimmed, day-of-the-week undies in hibiscus pink -- or making movies where Keanu, Matthew or Will walks out in the woman’s lavender teddy and matching maribou mules.

As your husband keeps insisting, just because a guy comes out of the closet in the wife’s panties it doesn’t mean he’s gay. While the public face of cross-dressing is flaming drag queens like Ru Paul, most cross-dressers are straight. In a 1997 survey of cross-dressers by Richard F. Doctor and Virginia Prince, 87 percent said they were heterosexual. Stayton estimates the number to be “at least 95 percent.” Not only that, 60 percent of Doctor and Prince’s respondents were married, and 69 percent had kids. In an earlier study by Prince, 19 percent reported playing high school or college football. At least one married cross-dresser played professional basketball. That, of course, would be Dennis Rodman, who goes through more false eyelashes and feather boas than the chorus line at the Tropicana.
Cross-dressers like your husband typically spend much of their week looking like the average Joe, not the not-so-average Jacqueline. Most enjoy being men, and have no interest in a sex change. Stayton, who counsels many of them, says they’re often in very male-oriented occupations – like fireman, trucker, or high-powered businessman -- they just have a feminine side they need to express to feel whole. For some, this comes out as early as age 5, and no, it’s not a phase, although they may do it more or less at different times in their lives. Some do find it erotic, especially at first, but many, like the senator, simply find it a pretty way to relieve tension. (Think of it as a frilly alternative to yoga or the after-work martini.)
Of course, a husband’s cross-dressing tends to have a less-than-soothing effect on a wife, especially if she comes home expecting her husband and walks in on some poorly assembled June Cleaver. If she can’t get over the betrayal, or just plain can’t deal, it’s probably the end of the marriage. She’ll blame her husband, but Stayton points to society’s “awfulizing” of cross-dressing, causing the cross-dresser to feel shame and guilt for expressing the full range of himself as a person -- and leading to secrecy and the issues that ensue. In your case, unless it stops your husband’s life -- if he quits his job and stays home admiring himself in the mirror in bouffant wigs -- what’s the problem? Sure, there could come a day when he starts stretching out your angora sweaters, or worse yet, using up all your tampons. Until then, whatever floats your boat, or makes your skirt fly up -- or your husband’s.


#2 kjcman

 
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Posted 25 March 2006 - 09:34 AM

Hey I am married and we have been together for about 8 yrs and I use my wifes panties and she is very supportive.   It is some thing that her and I share together.  Now we even shop together and I have her pick out the ones she likes to see me in.  I do have my favorites and she respects that but it is still her call.   I love to use her panties and that does not make me gay.  It is just some thing that my wife and I do with each other.  
I would just say support him and see were it goes and if you get too weirded out about it just talk it over and keep it open and honest.
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#3 zoe9214

 
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Posted 25 March 2006 - 11:24 AM

Your wide-ranging reach for information is amazing, PH. One wonders how you, over there in Old Blighty, winds up reading an advice column out of Lansing, Michigan.

Ms. Alkon's advice is the orthodox psychological viewpoint with the extra goody about the US Senator. It sounds like she's quoting unattributed chapter and verse. Nevertheless, whoever wrote it, it's good, solid advice for the "Wondering Wife".

I don't wear Elke's panties. I wear my own. Of course she's bought several pairs for me. Her taste in frillies is far better than mine, and it please me that I please her when I wear things she likes. As we read Alkon's reply together, she was voicing her approval.

The weather is lousy here and she wants to stay in and play  :P . I may let you know what happens.

#4 Pantyholic

 
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Posted 25 March 2006 - 01:34 PM

Well I do have a mildish interest in panties Zoe  :P

Now if it was me replying I would of swung to the left with something like
"Fer gawds sake woman, don't stand for that despicable nonsense, tell the bugger to go out and buy his own fuckers, and while he's at it, get the meany to buy you a pair too".

A short sentence that shows

1/ I approve
2/ She has a lot to learn

Is Elke still there then? blimey I thought it was only for a week. Start to worry when you cant find space in your closet :lol:

#5 zoe9214

 
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Posted 26 March 2006 - 12:57 PM

Elke comes, cums and goes. I'm taking a couple of months off and enjoying the weather here in Cancun. Elke is here about 10 days a month and I'm on my good behavior the rest of the time. I just got punched in the ribs but I'm not erasing anything.

#6 Andy4Life

 
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Posted 27 March 2006 - 12:44 AM

Beautiful. I haven't seen something good like that for some time
now... She defintley has the tail on the donkey there.

From the Wife's/Fiance's point of view.
Some think it's good or some think it's weird.. maybe both but deep inside they have two options. End it or stay with him.

From our point of view, we are like should we tell her or let
he find out or not tell her at all... it's however you feel comfortable.
The more comfortable you feel with something, you do it - that's just natural. So go with your own judgement.

Don't let other people stray you off something that you don't feel is right.

Andy.

#7 gina

 
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Posted 15 April 2006 - 07:07 PM

Iagree with you PH tell the cheap bugger to buy his own He is probably stretching his wifes panties

#8 Cajunbear

 
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Posted 15 April 2006 - 11:02 PM

I have been wearing panties on and off since I was thirteen.  However, I brought my wife's panties into the picture one night when she had on a pair of Danskin panties that really felt comfortable on the outside so I asked to let me put them on.  She consented and I have been wearing panties, pantyhose, stockings, and garter belts nearly every day.  It is just a wonderful feeling. They are better looking and feeling than a man's underwear any day of the week!  No he isn't gay and neither am I.  However, I am bi-curious.

#9 Tinymuel2002

 
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Posted 29 October 2006 - 04:56 AM

As someone said in another thread, all she needs to do is to wear his mens briefs for a day or two and she'll understand why he likes wearing panties so much. He''s probably no more gay than I am (not even curious), just likes feeling sexy, silky material next to his skin.
     As for getting punched by Elke in the ribs. For gawd sake man you need to train her like I did my wife... Every time we get into a fight I MAKE her get onto her knees...... and beg me to come out from under the bed and fight like a man :help:

#10 Pantied Suzi

 
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Posted 29 October 2006 - 02:38 PM

Exactly, once she would wear guys underwear, she might understand better.  I couldn't read the reply, said it wasn't available.  COuld someone please fill me in as to what it said.
"Panties are not the best thing in life, but next to it!"

#11 Pantyholic

 
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Posted 29 October 2006 - 04:07 PM

The reply had been sent to their archives, but I managed to find it and update the link.

#12 joannie

 
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Posted 29 October 2006 - 10:22 PM

Tell the "cheap ass sissy bitch" to go buy HIS own shit!! My wife got so pissed off at me when she went to put on some pantyhose!!!!! I cut the crotch out of most of them so we could fuck later. She didn't factor that in to HER plans so I was the prick!! The guy is OK, it takes some balls and true honesty to tell your girl something like that.

#13 Pantied Suzi

 
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Posted 30 October 2006 - 09:32 AM

I like the response she gives.  I wish people would start accepting guys who like to wear women's clothing.  Or even same sex relationships.  What's the big deal, nobody's getting hurt from wearing their wife's panties.
"Panties are not the best thing in life, but next to it!"

#14 silkshirt

 
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Posted 30 October 2006 - 11:22 AM

It was nice to read a sympathetic reply, I wonder what his wife made of it. I'm sure that most women would still recoil in horror should they be confronted with this situation, my partner unfortunately being one of them.

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#15 Pantyholic

 
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Posted 30 October 2006 - 02:01 PM

These replies from so called agony aunts are laughable. It's so easy to type up the ideal solution, for the ideal relationship, in the ideal world, whilst they the so called agony aunts are either snorting coke, binge drinking, or have mariage problems of their own.
Read there replies and factor in around 200 variables, and you realise its just a load of crap to fill up newspapers and magazines.
Truth be known, I bet there was never even a wondering wife in the first place.
To sum it all up in one word .......Bollocks

#16 Pantied Suzi

 
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Posted 31 October 2006 - 09:13 AM

I am with you PH, I don't take much stock in these so called advise columns.  The "Agony Aunt", as you call them, always give the safe, calm, politically correct answer.  Just once I would like to see one give some adivse telling them just to go beat the dog stuffing out of the person causing them the grief in the first place.  Does anyone really take advise given in this manner anyways?
"Panties are not the best thing in life, but next to it!"

#17 Denise

 
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Posted 24 July 2008 - 07:13 PM

It just seems that they always make pantie wearing by men as strange and yet woman can run around all day in mens clothes and no one says a dam thing about it...hey wearing mens boxers is the rave now...so why can't they just let us enjoy our panties



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#18 Billnpanties

 
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Posted 23 October 2008 - 12:42 PM

[font="Times New Roman"]How interesting. My wife hates it when I wear panties. She, like all women, think that if a man likes anything feminine then he must be gay. How stupid. Women wear man style trouser, ties, suits, shoes and yes undershirts, but, no one thinks they are gay just "cute".

I wear panties everyday and hide them from my wife because after wearing them for about 7 years she finally told me she "hated" the idea and wanted me to stop. So, as far as she concerned I did stop wearing. She is wrong. I would love her support, the comfort and just plain fun of wearing should be share.

I still love the idea of a woman in panties (guys to) and will never understand women getting upset because their "man" wants to wear comfortable and sexy underwear.

#19 Alison

 
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Posted 23 October 2008 - 11:18 PM

I am very fortunate in that my wife NOW knows about my panty wearing and is willing to accept me wearing panties all day, even to work!
She has been shopping with me for panties and even gave me a pair as a gift!

But all this came about after she discovered my secret, and she was scared I was going to leave her. Or that I didn't love her. We talked openly and honestly to understand each other's feelings.

I know she is not really thrilled at me doing this but she loves me and wants to make me happy. She is sensible enough to know I am not hurting anyone so she has accepted it.  And I love her all the more for that!

I feel for anyone married who loves their wife, but still has this secret from them.
Hopefully, the opportunity for more women to accept men in women's clothes will come about. :rolleyes:
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#20 pantyluv43

 
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Posted 25 October 2008 - 06:50 AM

my Exwife found my stash of panties out in my shed..she then found my fone were I sent another panty lover pics of me dressed up.  Ex Wife over that....still wearin panties