Taken from the many comments that have been left, it is safe to say that the issues of sexuality, gender-orientation, and general points of arousal are by no means a “black and white” affair in which if you are not one, then you are the other. There are many aspects to go into what makes you the way that you are. As one of the first comments stated, you are what you feel and until you come to terms with that, you will be in a constant and never-ending state of denial. This, for the sake of saying, is a most horrible ordeal to be forced to endure.

It is well studied and documented that your childhood, upbringing, and life experiences have a great impact on the formation of your desire and arousal. Although many would not think too much into it, as a child exploring the world and its many intricacies, you very quickly become aware of what you prefer and do not prefer. It is just that as children, we do not see it in the light that we would as an adult. During my time spent learning and in the fields psychology, sociology, and counseling, the theory that best fits the anxiety felt by eagle284 and no doubt countless others is “Labeling theory.” This theory is just as its name states: Human beings have a tendency to label and categorize everything in order to better understand, control, and/or manipulate them how they see fit.

My words to you are really no different than the other replies in that you must do a thorough search within yourself to better understand what you want out of life. When it comes to including another into your life, desires and all, a certain degree of open disclosure may be necessary in order to prevent a burned bridge (or town for that matter) down the road. After all, you are considering making a life pledge to each other. There have been many accounts of families with couples married for decades only to end in divorce after the kids grew old enough due to the one or both partners finally coming out to each other on who and what they are. In the end, only you can decide for yourself what you are, no clinician or anyone else can make that decision for you. Just be sure to take care of yourself and keep a healthy state of mind. *smiles*

Posted by member Latexity